Chapter 1 

I worked tonight for seven and a half hours in utter silence and boredom. Then a fellow asked me about a movie on Gurgief; had I seen it? Did I know what the name of it was? I thought awhile. Yes. The Meetings of Remarkable Men. Ah, yes, that was it. So we discussed Gurgief. I know very little about him, Gurgief that is, but I'm explaining the little I knew about his system of "rays and the 7 spheres." Some ridiculous thing and the discussion get into what is "real," are these things actual realities? It became tense. I think he is a student at U.C. Berkeley in computers. What I tried to say was that the description of E=MC squared is not the thing itself; that is is a description of processes and that, likewise, Gurgief's rays and spheres were descriptions of processes that may or may not be real depending on whether you believed his system. Hands thrown up, end of argument.

"Well," he says, "it's completely hypothetical then; you either believe it or you don't, yes." I answered that one must pay two thousand dollars to find out. "Pay for enlightenment," he said in disgust. "Yes, I answered."

Watch out for women who keep you pinned down with a constant image of you that is less than the truth.

...took them along the paved, lit roads of the ten thousand thing/and held our arms to the open wind;/the sea rapidly a memory/held in the palm like a burnished coin.

Downtown Berkeley: 9:30am Thursday. "An echoing silence echoing the passing traffic. Individuals bent and struggling along the sidewalk. Travelers asleep on benches with radios in their ears. Confusion in the eyes of the most expressively dressed; stoicism through hell. Depressed by personal problems that create neither selfabsorption or shame; simply let the weight of it. Little pleasures in the window. Thoughts on escaping to Oregon or, at least, one major move. Half-complete manuscripts in the home of my mother's sister. Successful cousin in town. Wayward artist makes million from stamp. Phone call to see if there is any work at the last tomb I entered.

David Eide
January 24, 2014