Did I have "something" about money? I suppose. I don't worry about it too much because it's a personal matter and you can't project it against the whole society. I do think the development of affluence in this country is a great achievement. It is a collective achievement that owes all sorts of debts that are being cashed in all the time: from the environment, from people's "locked out" of the process, from countries from which the resources to sustain the economy are extracted, from the corporate community who extract their reward from the political system, to all of those groups and individuals who use the liberal law to essentially exploit the economy.

There is no question is my mind that money distorts value. That it corrupts. This is axiomatic but not an absolute axiom. It becomes a challenge thrown at the feet of this society among others. The double-edged sword cuts deep into the flesh of America.

It corrupts thought, corrupts art, and corrupts creative activity. But it also provides challenge and opportunity.

The problem is that gap between "unhooking" from the natural bias of the thing and going for the challenge and opportunity.

This transition is very difficult because once you overthrow the great distorting hooks of the society you are wide open to many attacks. You are thrown off balance. The world suddenly appears to be grotesque and insane. You find yourself doing things you would never have done before. You are forced to accept the most ungodly impressions. It all appears to be malevolent and there are millions of others who have surrendered to the despair of this and gotten caught up in one foolishness or another.

Part of this transition is spent on trying to figure out what use your activity is. If it is worthless in the total sense of the word that's one thing. If you are made to feel that it is worthless that is something else again. If you look to the society to find justification for it you run into trouble. Then you go through another transition since if the society offers no justification the only thing left is your desires. And those get spent on useless activity so you are left bankrupt, without resource and at the mercy of the society. A person would avoid that like the plague.

Isolation sets in. You feel cut off from all kinds of things. It becomes difficult to "pull out" into the objects that exist. This is a very telling point. You begin to get defensive. People prod you for some accountability. It is all rather ridiculous.

I became a good deal offended by simple lies and deception that became institutionalized. It is no more complicated than simple human response. It is not limited to America. The Great Lie is being promulgated by members of the faith in both capitalist and communist nations. This should drive one to think rather than despair. And since the achievements of these faiths is collective, the Lie of each is collective which makes it very hard to think about.

I'm assuming this was one of the functions of mythology. That is, where it is impossible to think in depth on the dominant faiths they have been successful in "re-making" the "depths" of their adherents.

What is the nature of the Lie in each faith?

• Lie 1: that both systems are progressing toward their goal without substantial problems subverting either the faith or the goal
• Lie 2: "We are protectionist, they are expansionist."
• Lie 3: That there is no link between the final product and the destruction that goes into the final product
• Lie 4: That "we are historically unique".

Out of these Lies comes this axiom: Don't get caught up in these ideologies. Admit that capitalism ruins beauty and communism ruins men.

1989

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