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Return to Oasis
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The Villa had provided the poet an escape from all those who would empty him of meaning and say, “well, you are merely…..” He found it to be part of the ethos of the age he lived in. “If we empty this fool of his substance we will be able to control him and so the world will become that much closer to us!” He knew from the beginning the worst in human nature, even among those who he had trusted.
But naturally it was more complicated that that. They had been emptied first and their emptiness filled their judgments and so it was something that belonged to inhuman nature.
The swarm would be the thickest when he was weakened by physical or emotional problems. The swarm would descend to pry loose whatever quality he had possessed and make him be as empty as they were. An emptiness that all the travel, sex, money, knowledge could not fill up.
“Ah,” said a man of true emptiness, “you simply want them all to get religion. Ha!”
“No,” the poet said, “only more meaning and substance.”
“If your sacrifices have no meaning then you are kaput. That simple. However, if you were attempting to express value through the sacrifices then the meaning rises wonderfully from the mysterious place everyone wants to possess but no one can.”
“Well, I spent a long time in study and thinking, acts that are despised outside social sanctions.”
“But, what were the values you were fighting for?”
“The ability of the human being, in secular and spiritual form, to overcome alienation.”
“So, there was some meaning there.”
“I was miserable except for a few moments of ecstatic understandings. I did find God and deepened my relation to God. I just never found anyone who cared.”
“And did you emerge non-alienated?”
“Sort of. Yes. Well, it’s hard to say, a lot of factors go into the word ‘alienated.’ I knew I could go on. And I knew I could handle a few problems. And I knew bullshit when I heard or read it.”
“That’s a start….that’s a start.”
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