Chapter 1 

I never felt the universe was mine. I never felt that I could go anywhere I wanted to go. I felt that if I made the wrong move I could get trapped by something I had no knowledge of, that maybe the whole thing was a trap or I was a guinea pig to test out the resourcefulness of the human being. Many odd thoughts entered and left me during that initial phase.

Ah, the impersonal in these forces, yes, I met up with that. The forces are a challenge, no doubt about it. It took me a great deal of time to figure out that the forces were not impersonal at all but intimately wound into myself in a way that I could not know but I could sense, I could intuit. I could be moved by this insight to believe that the forces, rather than imperial and impersonal were the first great challenge thrown down at poor humanity. The first challenge was surviving. That was difficult enough but early on the being figured out that things renew, they go on, they continue. Even so survival was always the warm up.

David Eide
January 24, 2014